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Chronicles from a Catalan Dolphin

This blog is about the crazyness-turned-laughing about living in USA and surviving to it.
Hey, better laugh about than cry about, right?

I write from Ohio, where I am doing my Ph.D. at Kent State University. Tough science, rough parties and global roomates...

Old blog: http://blogs.ya.com/codenamemuffin/

Engineers of Backpain. Part 2

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This entry was posted on 10/17/2006 3:12 PM and is filed under uncategorized.

There is something especial about buying a mattress. First, which mattress. But even if you got this issue solved, there is still a long way to go. Let me explain you something:

Let’s say at least you know the brand. How come? Because you slept in a certain hotel and your 6-months backpain went away in 48 hours. Wow! You feel exalted! Finally, you think, finally I found the right one! Ok, let’s go buy it.
Then, the clerk in the store introduces you to a new hole meaning of the expression “helpless ignorance’. The clerk tells you, while you yawn a “oooh” expression like if contemplating an alledged extinct species, that the particular model you are searching for is going to be called “Simmons BeautyRest” in hotel ‘X”, while “Moonflowers” in the hotel “XY”. Ok, you didn't understood a thing, right? Let’s explain it for the non-inciated: you realize the company has created a swarm of mattress types “customized” for the buyer. This means, simply, that there is no F** way to identify the one that you slept in in that hotel. “In this aspect, the customer is left with not so many options” the clerk adds, like tagging you a disclaimer, and he proceeds: “is really unfair…” And those points in that last sentence means something like “but that’s how we exploit the customer and make the big profit”.

Then if you finally leave the mattress store, unsure of your backpain destiny, the frustated clerk will tell you: “is there anything we can do for helping you accomplish your business??”. Wooaaahh!! That sentence really deserves an Oscar for “Best twisted euphemism for selling fast”. Only in USA, yeah!

 

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